Today is Easter.  So given the date of my last Xanga entry this makes me about as consistent in my xanga enteries as some are in their church attendance.

So much to think about today, but mostly I'm just resting and rejoicing in the hope of the resurrection.

"no more volunteering.  last time I volunteered I ended up having a baby"

"I haven't gotten anybody pregnant...yet"

"you know you make me want to... shout?

kick my heels up and... jump?

throw my hands back and...wave my hands in the air, wave em like I just don' t care!"

beat snickerdoodles!

I have a fear when it comes to this time of the year.  Actually I have a lot of fears when it comes to the month of December (malls, crazy drivers/parkers, people who work for me being publicly intoxicated…) but the fear I felt today, my main Christmas fear, is one I can pretty much trace back/blame on one person- my sister.

I am afraid of people opening the gifts I give them too early.  My sneaky sibling has been notorious for her spectacular snooping skills.  It didn’t bug me that much until she started telling me what I was getting too.  For years I tried to hide gifts, but without fail they would be found out.  One year I went so far as to not include any names at all on the gifts under the tree and then passed them out based on my memory and a map I made.  Still super sneak solved the mystery and still somehow knew what she was getting.

Over the years things have gotten better.  I no longer get thank you calls in the middle of December for gifts I send at the start of the month.  I really hadn’t thought much about that fear until today.  You see I had to send a package today, a package of Christmas presents.  I had my trusty professional wrapper and folder extraordinaire not only wrap up the gifts, but also wrap up the box so the location it was headed to would be clearly labeled.  It was a wonderful job, until I got to the shipping company. 

Once I got the package to the counter I was informed that they don’t accept boxes that are wrapped.  I found this somewhat shocking because the box had been previously used and had words on it.  I asked why the wrapped method was out of bounds and they provided a very logical explanation: in the course of transportation it seems some boxes could accidentally rub up against my box and tear the paper, thereby making the delivery location unreadable or worse, lost.  This made sense to me, but I still did not know what to do.  I explained that the box had other writing on it so I thought covering that up would be a good thing.  She told me that the writing didn’t matter, in fact, it could even say “liquor” on it and they would ship it, (as long as there really wasn’t any liquor in it).  I found this information good to know for when choosing a shipping box in the future…

The nice lady then took my package and began to tape it.  And not with that weak tape you get out of fake animal tape dispensers either; this was the real stuff.  She went around and around and around that box, ensuring that the paper wrapping was protected by a thick coat of hard core sticky tape.  With speed and dexterity usually reserved for those super humans who can type at amazing speeds without looking at the keyboard or the screen, she slapped strip after strip of tape on that package till it had to be the most secure item in the entire facility and possibly in the entire Northern California package world.  And then she took it and sent it on its way.

So I have no fear about the recipients of this package opening these gifts before Christmas.  And I’m only mildly concerned that they won’t be able to even open the box before Christmas.   Whether they get opened on Jesus’ birthday or by their birthday it’s sure to be a happy occasion (or the end of a great tape struggle).  Either way, I'm pretty sure these gifts won't see the light of day until the last week of December!

Moments not caught on tape, but I wish they were:

“Where’s the couch?  I miss the couch”

<answer- it's been gone for like two years now>

“Crap, I’m talking to myself… <5 minutes later>…I like talking to myself, it’s fun!”

“You need to tape your fingers to your hands”

“If I can’t have a wife, you get to be a boy!”

“…One hope soap and sleigh…”

These words of “wisdom” have been brought to you today  by the Barneys...

Barney Fife- one of Mayberry’s finest

Barney Rubble- a solid citizen of Bedrock

Barney Miller- Detective extraordinaire

Barney Gumble- Fan Club President of Moe’s Tavern on the Simpsons

and of course Barney the Dinosaur-  purple beast and tune terrorist.

not to mention Barney Mattisright